Scars & Souvenirs
Friday, April 18, 2008
A buddy of mine commented on my last post referring to song titles from the Foo Fighters. Very appropriate indeed. So I use an album title for this post although I think I should revise it a bit. It should be called Scars are Souvenirs. It's been a while since I brought this up and I missed my annual post, February 21, this year due to my surgery recovery. But February 21 provided me with my 2nd big scar, emotionally. I didn't get my physical ones until years later. But with a beautiful spring day looming and me with nothing to do but enjoy it, I need to spend a moment reflecting. Spring is renewal and in my case in 1993 and 1996 never was the word "renewal" so severely redefined in my life. At the ripe old age of 25 my first wife Jill gave birth prematurely to our son, Aaron. He was born on Good Friday and he passed away on Easter Sunday, April 9. He was 3 months early and despite doctor's best efforts to fragile to survive. Scar 1. Then, February 21, 1993. Jill passed away from cancer only 6 months after being diagnosed, I had just turned 28, she had just turned 30. Scar 2. But on that fatefully day when I was there when Jill took her final breath "renewal" had begun. I can say that now since so much time has passed. I don't bring this up for sympathy but as a simple reminder. Now that I sit here nearly 12 years later my, life is renewed each day and it went it a direction I never could have imagined. A gorgeous spring day helps bring that to light many times. So my scars are my souvenirs. I don't wear them as crosses either. They are what they are. At a very early age in my life my scars were internal, hell at times I thought they would killed me. In the last 5 years my scars have been external from surgery and some I even did on purpose, such as my tattoo that grows larger and more colorful each time I go for new ink. Still a scar in my book. But if you let those scars heal and let them be a reminder of times in your life in which the pain would never seem to go away...know that it will. It'll just leave a souvenir. A reminder, not a reason to stop renewing and enjoying all the glory of a warm spring day!
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